Natasha McNeely's Author Blog

Never stop dreaming, 'cause the day you stop dreaming, is the day you stop living.

Friday Snippets: Short Story – Trapped


This week, I’d like to share a random snippet; I literally just wrote this for fun. Consider it a short little scribble of something that might one day become something longer, eh? That said, should it turn into something longer, it’ll most likely be in the Dark Fantasy genre as opposed to my usual Paranormal Fantasy.

Anyways, that’s enough rambling from me.

Without further ado, here’s the story!

The clock ticked along on the wall. Two minutes and twenty-seven seconds. Two minutes and twenty-six seconds, twenty-five, four. The soft ticks broke through the blood rushing to her head, though the noise of her deep breaths. Calm. She needed calm.

Two minutes until nine.

A young woman paced back and forth, lips parted and inhaling and exhaling sharply. Nearly three weeks. For nearly three weeks, horrors beyond her imagination plagued her. They came at night, demanded entrance. So far, they remained outside and she was safe. How long would that last?

Her hair felt soft as she ran a hand through it and swallowed hard. A children’s book lay on the arm of the couch. Bedtime reading. Teaching life lessons. Passing on the love for literature. The woman crossed the room and grasped the large hardback in her hands, flicking through the pages. Colorful drawings depicted events from the story.

Her daughter’s favorite book.

Three knocks echoed off the front door and she yelped. The book fell from her hands as she quickly stepped back from the door. Fear clenched its clammy hands around her neck. Pressure clamped her windpipe shut, stole her breath away. She gasped for air and backed away until she hit a wall.

Auburn locks shifted as she shook her head, sliding down until she sat on the ground. Her eyes focused on the door and for once, the lack of small windows in the door, so common for the area, helped her along. She didn’t see them, wouldn’t need to face them.

A cold sweat coated her body and she squeezed her eyes shut, fighting back tears.

Three more knocks.

Choking back a sob, she pulled her knees up to her chest. Her face vanished into the black jeans she wore. They kept coming. They would keep coming. She would fight for as long as she could. The memory of their first meeting returned to the front of her mind, sharp and detailed, and she whimpered, eyes snapping open.

I just hope I don’t give in.

I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading it! Let me know what you think; I love hearing your opinions.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Author: Natasha McNeely

I'm a writer, reader, gamer and a dreamer. I love losing myself to thought and considering possibilities. That is how I create my stories and weave the erratic tales into readable ones.

16 thoughts on “Friday Snippets: Short Story – Trapped

  1. I like the tension and the allusions to the woman’s fear. I want to know what has been plaguing her and what will happen if she does give in. Also, where is her daughter? It would be interesting to see you develop this.

    • It’s not specially stated, but I do allude to it. That children’s book kind of refers to the fact that her daughter is still young. Hence, at 9 p.m., she’s already in bed. 🙂
      It is something I’m interested in developing!

  2. I liked that. Have on suggestion, more of a rule I keep. I never let a character cry or come close, cause I feel I should challenge myself to show how they emote without getting to this point. I always find it more believable.

    • I’m glad you liked it, and thanks for the suggestion! I’ll keep that in mind for future reference. I do feel, however, that there are times when crying is acceptable. Every character has a breaking point, after all.

      • yeah i agree. i just went through a stretch where every character going through something ended up in tears, and when i read it again i realized it was just a way too convenient plot device. going cold turkey on that one.

      • Yeah. If crying is used too often, then it becomes something very convenient. If used sparingly at the right moments, then it creates realism. In the end, that’s what I was going for in this; the character has been going through the same thing every night for three weeks. She’s becoming desperate and terrified.

  3. very intriguing. Almost makes me want to know who or what is on the other side of that door. 🙂 But seeing how’s I don’t want to scare myself, I’d rather she didn’t open the door. ha! But then that wouldn’t make much of a story, would it?

  4. Chilling! It makes me think of the times in my life when I didn’t want to answer the front door – plus pure terror! Her daughter’s favorite book, eh? Makes me wonder how powerful a book can be. I’m tuned in and listening! 😉

  5. Sounds good so far! I think you’ve got a great premise and stuffs. 😀

  6. I love crash fiction. This is great! It has the raw emotion of an excellent first draft and just enough clues dropped to make the read want more. I’m so happy I stumbled over here, today 🙂

  7. That was pretty intense, a lot of emotions running high. I like how you can’t see who it is through the door, adds to the mystery with an almost horror feel to it. I want to know more! 🙂

    • That’s what dark fantasy is for, throwing in that hint of horror to make fantasy just a bit more intense! Thanks for your comment! I am intending to make this into at least one book. 🙂

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